tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28927736616219715532024-03-13T05:58:07.521-07:00Life As We Knew ItAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10679844295230067491noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-21408712217922994962016-07-30T11:16:00.000-07:002016-07-30T11:16:16.403-07:00Finding My way<div>
As you may know I've recently started a small business called Lauren Kots communications. I have always wanted to start a small business but I have never been able to get off the ground... for no fault other than my own. You see it's a nice dream but I am not great at the execution. </div>
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Well, this time around I have the support of my family, my whole family, even the extended part. So far I am working on my website as well as my parents rental website. I have also started working with a doctor who my mother in law has worked with for years. Since I have been out of the marketing game for a couple of years I really want to make sure I understand the software updates before I jump in and promise someone something I can not deliver. Therefore, I haven't started advertising. I've been talking about it, and hoping for a word of the mouth type of thing, until September. September is the goal I am giving myself to complete my website, my parents, and work with my current client's website. I've also started talking to a former coworker about working with her on some projects. In many aspects of my life I've had problem's in the past stemming from poor planning. I will get really excited about something and jump on in with my clothes on and everything, not taking time to test the waters, so this time I want to test the waters. </div>
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I have also started taking weight loss and getting healthy, more seriously. I am tracking my food, I've got a fitbit, a gym membership and a personal trainer. I don't want to fail at any of my new endeavor's but it is harder than it seems to find a balance. </div>
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My husband supports me 100% and is helping me figure out how to navigate this crazy life. I'm so lucky to have him and our daughter.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10679844295230067491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-69395686161946292062016-02-24T18:19:00.000-08:002016-02-24T18:20:27.654-08:00Happy Hump DayThe last couple of months have been a blur. I have a 1 YEAR OLD! O my goodness I just cannot believe it. December and January were filled with family, friends and fun! With the holidays and the big 1! for our baby girl, I was swamped.<br />
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<b>The business</b>- I continued working on my temporary website, so I have a basis, however, I have not yet begun development on my website. After working with Dreamweaver, Wix and Weebly, I am excited to start the tutorials for Muse - the middle ground between html from scratch and picking and choosing provided elements from online development programs. I plan to start my tutorials asap. The last couple months have been filled with lessons from American Business Technology University. In the fall I registered for a Social Media Marketing Strategist course through the military's MYCAA program. I will say, I was a bit disappointed by the class information, 98% is regarding the Microsoft suite and how to be a great secretary. While the lessons were well thought, and informational, I was under the impression the majority of this class would focus on social media and the best way to implement it into your business. I have been struggling through these lessons filled for months and have finally (!!) gotten to the social media aspect. The class concludes on Sunday and I will be able to donate 100% of my allocated "work" time to the business. I know this class is going to benefit my business, so technically I have been "working", however, i do feel like I've been wasting my time. Unfortunately, I need to complete every aspect of the course (obviously) to receive full credit. I am very excited to be able to focus on brand development starting next week.<br />
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<b>Life</b>- Life is fun! I have a great group of girlfriends, with wonderful babies (young and old), a wonderful husband, and a firecracker daughter. Don't get me wrong, it's definitely had it's downs, but overall I'm having a blast. Arabella took her first steps on Christmas day! It wasn't like the movies though; first steps on Christmas, running by New Years. It is funny; not having any experience with babies. I've never seen a baby grow and learn. I've never held them when they're sick. my poor little one was sick on New Years Eve. Now, for those of you who remember, NYE is her birthday! If you're thinking what we did, my mom said "Well, this won't be the last time she throws up on her birthday!!" Everyone laughed! In all reality though it was so strange, we didn't know what to make of it. Turns out, she had Roseola. Weird sickness. They have a quick onset, really high fever (for days), and then it vanishes and is followed by a rash which appears and disappears as quickly as the fever. Unfortunately for our little monkey, she was also vomiting, which is terrifying. Seeing an infant vomit, the panic in their face when they can't breathe, it was awful. She's a trooper though, I'm interested to see how she acts when she's older. She's definitely got to work on the sympathy though. She had 101+ fever and she was crawling all over, playing with the dogs, running with her push walker, drumming on her play drum set.... you'd never know the girl was sick.<br />
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Anyway... Once we were over that hurled she changed so rapidly!! Since her birthday she has learned how to walk so well, she practically runs. (It's really more of a really fast waddle and it is the cutest thing I've ever seen!) She's learned how to growl like a bear (on command), dip foods in condiments, get off the furniture without face planting and other things which seem like big developments to us. Instead of having to tear nutrigrain bars into pieces, you will give her the bar with the wrapper half down and she will walk around and eat it. She can put the coins in her piggy bank toy's slots. She moves her arms and legs the way they need to be to take off her clothes and brings her towel to the bathroom when it's bath time. She loves the playground and the slides, although she hasn't quote figured out how to turn around and sit down, unless I help her. It's like I went to bed one night with an infant, and woke up the next morning with a toddler. She'll share her food and toys, and tell you no when you take her paci. She makes a face and says "ooo" when she does something bad.. This little girl is a firecracker and she's going to be an adventure. I can't blame her though, I know her parents ;).<br />
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I am so excited to see what the coming months have in store for my family and my business.<br />
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*BTW I do love my husband and he's here too, but he prefer I leave his business, his business. He has started a video game channel though! For those of you who are interested or may know someone who is.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10679844295230067491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-34837544360017635072015-12-03T16:33:00.001-08:002015-12-03T16:33:57.936-08:00Getting Down to BusinessEnough is Enough.( ;)<br />
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I have talked about starting a business for years! I'd even given it a shot a couple of years ago, but it didn't take off. I'm under the impression I simply didn't want it enough.<br />
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On my last go around I was a full time, salaried employee at a job I LOVED!!! (despite one or two... or maybe just the one, super annoying coworker.) I chatted with my folks about it and played with a logo idea in my down time but that is about as far as I took it.<br />
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I married the man of my dreams, moved from Nevada to North Carolina (enter culture shocked face here) and was thrust into the world of the Military. Now you can watch Army Wives as much as you want but that will not even remotely prepare you for life as a military spouse. It is safe to say I have had an extremely hard time getting my footing.<br />
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This year, 2015, everything changed. Ok, so maybe everything changed on the last day of 2014 in one of the last possible hours, (9:17 if you're picky), but regardless, everything changed. My husband and I welcomed our beautiful baby girl into the world. At this time in my career I was a Realtor with, in my opinion, the BEST company in Fayetteville. I loved working with my clients. I loved helping them buy new homes and even sell their old homes. It's a very special part of someone's life to be a part of. However, I found I'd spend more time than necessary working on open house and new listing flyers, I continuosly offered to help fellow agents with their websites and I wanted to learn more about how to grow my business through social media. I slowly began to realize I loved being a realtor but I would always love marketing more.<br />
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At 6 weeks old my husband and I placed our daughter into daycare and I went back to work. We found ourselves with two working parents, a daycare bill and only one income. That's the thing about real estate. When you receive a commission it is awesome, but in between sales it can be difficult. When it was just my husband and I, that was fine, but after being less active my 9th month of pregnancy and maternity leave I felt as if I was trying to build my business all over again and, unfortunately we couldn't afford to build a business and have our daughter in a full time daycare at the same time. So, we made the decision for me to be a stay at home mom. Best decision I've ever made! Watching my daughter grow and change day by day is such a blessing. Don't get me wrong, she gives me a run for my money, but she's a hoot.<br />
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Over the last 8 months I have done a lot of thinking about being a stay at home mom and whether or not I wanted to return to work after her 1st birthday. A couple months back, my parents asked me to build a website for their property management company. My father is fully capable of designing one, but with his full time job and me being at home, I am fairly certain they wanted to give me a task to help retain my sanity during nap time ;)<br />
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I began discussing it with my husband and my parents and decided I would give this "start a business" thing another shot. And here we are. I spent the whole day designing a website design for LAK Communications. I'm stuck between LAK Communications and NV to NC Media (or Marketing). Nevertheless, it's been an eventful day :). I finally feel like I have a plan!<br />
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I know I'm going to have to work on this, the blog, the social media posts, getting the word out there, but I also, finally, understand I can not and should not get frustrated when it doesn't happen overnight, or even in the first 6 months. Wish me luck! Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10679844295230067491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-18268273392186718472014-01-19T16:55:00.001-08:002014-01-19T16:55:07.381-08:00Country Road; Radio Blasting. Over the past couple of weeks I have been coming to a number of realizations. I know it seems cheesy since it's the new year and all, but for the first time in a long time I have an idea of who I want to be, what has been causing the down times in my life and what I need to do to change them. <br />
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Well today, for the second day in a row, after I woke up and brought the boys outside to go to the bathroom, I went back in my room to find out my terrior peed in my bed. Two nights in a row! Needless to say, this was kind of the straw that broke the camels back for me. I love my dogs dearly, but some days I just want to kill them, or give them up or something, but I know in my heart I can't do that. <br />
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I threw the sheets and pillow case in the wash, had a mini meltdown, put Dixie in the kennel and the boys in the car. I had planned on taking them for a walk and didn't want myself and the shepards to miss out just because I was angry with the little lady. <br />
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When we started our drive I wasn't quite sure where I wanted to go. I just drove. I decided to head towards Weymouth Woods, a park I take the dogs to sometimes because there is rarely anyone there. Once I got onto the backroad I rolled my windows down (even though it was pretty cold), tuned the heater on my feet, and blasted some of my favorite songs from highschool while singing at the top of my lungs. By the second song, my head ache was completely gone. I'd forgotten how relazing it is to sing at the top of my lungs, regardless of whether or not I know the lyrics; no cares in the world. It was amazing. <br />
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It's about a 30-40 minute drive to the woods, yet it still seemed like not enough time. We pulled into the parking lot, the boys went crazy and I put in my headphones, playing the same playlist I had previously been rocking out to. It is amazing how relazing the songs from my past can be. I started to jog down one of the many paths and felt free. Now, knowing me, my currently jogging skills have increased, however, I can't jog/run for more than 3 minutes without my lungs or knee acting up. If one of those hadn't stopped me, the boys innate need to sniff EVERYTHING definitely slowed things down. For the first time, I didn't mind. I didn't care how many calories I was burning and I didn't want to jerk them and yell and get frustrated with them sniffing everything and being on opposite sides of the trail. Normally this drives me insane, but I decided this was as much their vacation as it was mine. <br />
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On the way home I went the backway again. I love it. No stop signs, maybe 20 cars the whole time, 55 mph speed limit, and free. It felt so nice to sing again. I felt carefree for that 2 hour period.<br />
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I hope throughout 2014 I continue to reevaluate and revitalize my life. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10679844295230067491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-81961322354120037492014-01-18T14:47:00.001-08:002014-01-18T14:47:51.457-08:00Good Old Fashioned Catholic GuiltGrowing up I was "that girl". I was shy. I was quiet. I was reserved. I wanted to be outspoken and crazy but it never seemed to fit quite right, so instead I was the "goody two shoes". I never really had a problem with it. I loved church. I loved God. I loved religion. I loved mass. I loved Catholicism. I loved singing. I loved me. <br />
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Being naïve was always a little bit annoying. I rarely had any idea what was going on after everyone hit puberty. Although I mastered he convincing laugh to inappropriate jokes, I didn't start getting them until I was about 19 and, well, lets be honest, I still don't know what people are talking about half the time. My "x-rated" knowledge seems to be a lot of peoples "PG-13 rated" knowledge. Just the other day some folks were talking and I asked a friend what something meant and she just laughed and said "Oh lauren." Most people seem to want to keep me as naïve as possible. There is the occasional person who resembles my high school ex-boyfriend's brother that wants to tell me every inappropriate thing in the universe, but those people seem to be dwindeling as we get older. <br />
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I didn't swear until I was in college, and even know, I say it out of habit, but I still feel guilty. <br />
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Many days I miss the girl I used to be. The thing is, I kind of like the girl I am now. I like being able to speak my mind a little more and not always blend into the wall. However, I can tell the self-conscious, naïve person is still with me. <br />
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Nearly everyday the thought crosses my mind "how do I get back to her?" How does sinner mesh with the do-gooder. Growing up I rarely sinned, in fact, I can't think of a time when I did anything more than lie to my mom about cleaning my room. I was so terrified of upsetting God and disappointing myself. My senior year of high school my life changed, everything changed. As much as I still loved the Lord, I lost faith in my church. I'm not sure I've ever written or said that out loud before, but I lost faith in my church. Instead of choir being led by a volunteer from the congregation they hired someone who wasn't even Catholic. my ex-boyfriend still participated in the band even though he no longer believed in the religion. People started wearing sweats to church instead of dresses or nice dress suits. Among these were a plethora of other changes and I started to realize the old fashioned Roman Catholic Church I grew up in, the one I knew and loved, the one that defined me, was gone. <br />
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I tried to hang in, but I was so strict and felt like everything was wrong. I sang in the choir an participated as an alter sever until I started at the university. I began attending church less and less. At school I was introduced to alcohol, I had more people willing to explain those things to me that turned my cheeks red, curse words were more popular than in grade school and I began to sin. I felt guilty about it at first, terribly, terribly guilty. After a while some things became habit. A night out with the girls with alcohol, a minor curse word here and there; I could feel myself turning, but every step of the way the quit, naïve, church mouse from my past was echoing through my mind. <br />
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I want to go back to church. I want to sing again. I want to feel care free and good again. When I go to a church I feel out of place, nothing seems quite right and I feel like a heathen. I know deep down in my heart that the two sides of myself could potential merge into one unified being and I could stop feeling so guilty, and start being more ... "me", but I often wonder "Have I strayed to far?"Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10679844295230067491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-23209166677286291442013-08-15T10:02:00.003-07:002013-08-15T10:02:26.987-07:00Real estateFor the past couple months I've been working on getting my real estate license. For the first time in my life I have actually failed something. Part of me thinks it may be due to Steven's training schedule, my mom visiting, my trip home and being sick for three weeks, but the other part of me just feels like a failure. <br />
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I have been taking tests and going to classes for as long as I can remember and never have I actually failed something. It may be due to having to pay for the test also. I want to start and there's this huge road block in my way... the stupid test. I knew it cost a bit to start real estate, I mean to start any career it costs a lot of money because of all the school, the problem with real estate is it's all at one time. I seem to be doing better and there aren't anymore big plans for a while so I think i'm going to trade in my study guide for the text book and start from square one.. there's got to be a way to pass this test and I want to find it. <br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10679844295230067491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-69129381261927472852013-08-13T18:26:00.001-07:002013-08-13T18:26:24.368-07:00Lazy DayToday has been a day of naps, cell phone video games and a burn notice marathon. I am not proud to say I only got out of my pajamas to go with my husband to get a new battery for his key. On Sunday I fell ... in my living room ... twice, not once, but twice. I'm not even sure how but I can sure say it hurts like crazy. Apparently my feet and hardwood floors do not get along well. <br />
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Last night was pretty rough because I found out my 11-month old German Shepard is afraid of thunder... yay! Thankfully, my hubby had the day off an slept through everything last night so I was able to nap and relax today :) I love him. lol :) I even overlooked his ulterior motive ... video games and top gear, two of my least favorite things haha. We are now getting ready for bed and watching episode 7 of Burn Notice Season 6 which apparently made it's debut on Netflix and is one of the hubby's favorite shows. Unfortunately it's better than I thought it would be and my concentration is not what it should be, so I think I'll pick up my blog tomorrow morning :)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10679844295230067491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-60354281921923665492013-08-12T15:51:00.001-07:002013-08-12T15:51:41.455-07:00Turning Over A New LeafTonight at dinner my husband asked me why I stopped blogging and I realized it was mostly because for a really long time I felt I had nothing important to say. I realized today, however, that everything is important to me, to him, to someone and perhaps I may not be the only one feeling at that specific time. Regardless if 1 person or 1 million people read my blog I'm sure at some point there is someone who is feeling happy, loved, blessed, depressed, alone, defeated, sick, optimistic, rejuvenated, or so many other things. Therefore, I've decided to try and blog everyday. <br />
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I am currently a stay at home army wife, in search of a career. Since I moved to North Carolina I've had a terrible time finding jobs with a career path. I don't necessarily have to work but I want to. I need something that is my own and I need something to do. Being in the town we're in there's not much place for advertising. Most things are chains or mom n pop shops without advertising funds. Over the past couple months I've been working on getting my real estate license, however, I've also been very sick and haven't been able to study as I should. I took my second x-ray today and hope to figure out what is wrong with me so I can put 100% of me into this new career path thing. <br />
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Unfortunately, I started this blog later in the night than I'd planned and I'm going to sign off to watch Kung Fu Panda on tv with my hubby until The Glades come on :). I absolutely LOVE The Glades! If anyone hasn't watched it and loves crime shoes with a bit of drama, sarcasm and attitude, it may be the show for you!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10679844295230067491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-47488027018494995802013-02-11T09:42:00.000-08:002013-02-11T09:42:27.224-08:00Rainy DaysSo the hubby left this morning for another field exercise, I am so happy I have to guard puppies and an alarm system. At first I was really disappointing we were going to be spending our first (out of 6) Valentine's in the same zip code apart AGAIN, but no i'm over it. Mandi, Willow and I are going to go to New Bern, home of lots of exploring, Nicholas Sparks, and a fish market and I'm pretty excited about it.<br />
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We are definitely settling in to our life a little more. Zeus is getting better with everyone and Baxter is only a spoiled brat, stealing toys 3/4 of the time instead of all of the time. We've gotten our house unpacked, had a Superbowl party and had Mandi and Willow over for dinner so it almost feels like a real home, we are almost there. All we need now is grass and our dog run! I can't wait for our dog run. We got it in the mail last week, however, the box was all torn up and one of the pieces was bent. After a long talk on the phone, and a complaining UPS driver we got the first one "exchanged" and have a new one on the way. I wanted to have one up before the trip Thursday, but i'm not sure if i want to do it by myself lol, that is if it even gets here before then.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10679844295230067491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-65581099108003005502013-01-31T12:41:00.001-08:002013-01-31T12:41:09.784-08:00Websites and RecipesLife since the big move has been going surprisingly better than I imagined. I've made a friend joined a few groups comprised of other army wives. I'm not sure how many lifelong friends I will make, but how can you ever know in a quick meeting. I have met a lot of great people and I can't wait to get to know them better.<br />
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In the meantime I am learning how to be a housewife and a puppy parent. Being a house wife is stressful but fun. Having my minor OCD is nice because my husband and two puppies destroy the house nearly every day so I ALWAYS have stuff to do. The frustrating part is the husband part. I really hope he'll get better with time but right now he is such a man, for example, while I was unpacking there was a stack of paperwork in the living room and I asked him to move it. The next day I found it in the kitchen and I asked him to put it away. The next day i found it on a box in our office and finally had to say I'm not asking you to move it around the house I am asking you for a place to put it away. Like many men, his idea of cleaning is putting everything in piles and, well my clean is way different. I am learning that if I want the house my kind of clean i'm going to have to do it, however, I hope he helps a little and learns that everything has a place, such as putting the mail in the mail slot and not on the kitchen counter lol.<br />
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Being a puppy parent has it's ups and downs as well. I love them more than anything and I love how excited they are to see me when i leave and how no matter where i am they are right next to me, however, they stress me out haha. Steven surprised me with Baxter when we got to NC. When we picked Baxter up at the Animal Hospital he was boarding with they told us they had a puppy named Zeus, also a German Shepard, who had been abandoned by his owner. The poor puppy had had his ear nearly bitten off by a big dog with his previous owner and had stitches. The woman at the animal hospital suggested we adopt him. His legal abandon date had not yet come so they told us they'd call on the day to see how we felt about it. After an extremely short discussion we agreed to adopt him and it has been an adventure ever since. Poor guy is so accident prone and always getting hurt, I feel so bad for him because he's traumatized and every time he starts to get comfortable he gets hurt and no he will barely leave my side. In all reality he's only been with us since January 11th so my hope is that over the next few weeks/months he'll feel more comfortable. Our biggest obstacle is our other little teenager who is having major sharing problems which includes branches, toys, parents, petting by anyone, etc. All I can do at this time is hope everything works out for the best.<br />
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I am not having much luck finding a job that I like and since I don't technically need to work I am going to try and start a small website design company. Today I am working on my site and my father's since he is paying me to build him a site.<br />
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Wish me luck!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10679844295230067491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-78181710701145853182013-01-14T08:49:00.000-08:002013-01-14T08:49:40.764-08:00Puppy Duty o my! What a year this has been already! Steven and I arrived in North Carolina December 30, 2012 and on December 31st, he surprised me by taking me to the animal hospital to pick up our little puppy! While getting Baxter's shots a few of the receptionists told us about Zeus. Zeus is an adorable, pain-in-the-butt puppy about the same age as Baxter. After having his ear almost completely bitten off his previous owner had dropped him at the office and abandoned him. The receptionists asked us to consider adopting Zeus and on January 11. These two have been driving us absolutely crazy lol. They seem just like little kids "you want to rest? I think no!" <div>
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Right now is heaven! I wanted to rake the backyard so we can have lawn in the summer I had the puppies outside with me and they were running and jumping, chasing bugs, eating sticks, and for the first time ever they both sat at the door to the house and stared at me. I opened the door and they ran to their respective places on the floor next to the couch and passed out! haha I think I have just found my solution to hyper puppies! </div>
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In other news. Out of 79 boxes I'm down to about 12. 2 are Christmas stuff, a few are clothes and some are "random boxes of crap" as I labeled them, which i now have to go through since I was a hoarder when packing lol. They house was looking a lot better but something was just off and we couldn't really figure it out; there was just something that didn't feel like home. Well, yesterday Steven we bought a Hoover Pet Vacuum and curtains, took down the blinds the puppies ate and vacuumed up all of the pine needles and an ddirt dragged in by the moving company and puppies and it feels so much more homely! It's amazing what a clean home can do! We figured out the alarm system and have gotten both puppies potty trained and the beds and new tv set up. All we need now is to get them to sleep through the whole night and we'll be golden! </div>
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Hope the rest of the day goes well!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10679844295230067491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-33848946248033416852012-12-05T13:40:00.001-08:002012-12-05T13:43:32.024-08:00Website DevelopmentToday I am working on uploading something to lacustomweb.com. I love website design and development, however, I have been looking at templates in order to make the process go faster and even though I've looked through what seems like hundreds, I still haven't found one that seems to suit me or my company. BLEH!<br />
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I wish I could develop this amazing sites, but I am just a beginner and I can't make sites like these templates. Realistically I probably could, but I feel like it would take forever. Part of me wants to start this company and wants it to be a great success, however I just don't know if i'm cut out for it. I would rather up keep and fix a website than design one.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10679844295230067491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-41569755168150567482012-11-27T18:33:00.001-08:002012-11-27T18:33:35.682-08:00Tuesday - 2 days down, 2 to goThis week is kind of big for me. My job is not exactly a place of happiness for me, at least not anymore. Over the past few months it has become almost unbearable. Originally, due to the move, I stated I would be leaving the company on the 14th of December. Yesterday I announce Thursday will be my last day. I am so happy and so relieved and face only two problems, the struggle with myself over the paycheck I'm missing out on and the fact that now the past two days have been crawling by like snails. I swear 1-2pm yesterday felt like it took a few hours. Nevertheless, I am happy with my decision. I am going to practice and freshen up /improve my web design skills in hopes of having a business or side business called LA Custom Website Design. <br />
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I'm so nervous about "starting" my own company and even just about charging people Steven and I know for websites, but it's something I want to do and I'm hoping it goes well. To be completely honest, I don't think I'm the kin of person who has my own company. I love busy work and web design and creating things for print (this I just learned over the last year) but I love to have something to create for. I love websites and could do that but I think the thing I've fallen in love with even more is designing things for print. I love spending hours and even days with myself or a team changing photos and layouts and tweaking tiny little things then sending it off to the printer. Seeing the final product, being able to hold it and think, this is me or this is us, is a great feeling.<br />
<br />
I suppose for now I will do what I can and hope that I find a job I fall in love with when I move.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10679844295230067491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-5706500519668707172012-11-16T10:22:00.000-08:002012-11-16T10:22:16.269-08:00Happy Rainy FridayAs my best friend said to me this morning "Happy Rainy Friday". There's just something about a cloudy day that makes me feel alive. I'm not a sparkly vampire I swear, but I just love cloudy days! I also love the rain. <br />
<br />
Literaly Rain is water falling from the sky wetting everything below, but metephorically I've always felt as if rain is a new beginning, a fresh start. It pours down from the sky as if the Lord himself (I apologize to any potential non-christian reader) washes everything clean. He doesn't feel the desire to floud and wipe clear the earth as previously down, however, he welcomes you to take the advantage to start fresh. <br />
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I'm a west coast girl, born and raised in Reno/Sparks, NV, but often I feel as if I am a southern girl at heart. Last summer in North Carolina the clouds burst the sky opened and the rain poured down on my fiance and I, the same thing happened to us on our honeymoon in Florida. When it pours I see the vision in my head of the man and woman kissing passionately in the rain, or the happy couple playing, splashing, laughing, or even the exhausted person who stops and lifts their head to the sky, letting the rain fall down upon them as if it's washing away all their day's problems. I love the rain and a big part of me can not wait to move to North Carolina to see a down pour, to frolick in the rain and to let it cleanse my soul. My husband on the other hand; well, he's often like a cat, he sees water and he does running. Wet is not his thing haha. <br />
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Some people think my love for the rain stems from my childhood in the water. From age 5 to age 18 I was a competitve swimmer who spent, at the least, 2 hours in the pool a day. Even now, a stressfull day for my can be cured by a swim or even by sitting in a pool area breathing in the chlorine (healthy i'm sure =P). I just know I love water and I hope one day my man will passionately kiss me in the poring rain or laugh as we chase each other through the rain and fall in the mud. <br />
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For now, I am in Reno, sitting at my desk staring out the window as i watch the clouds. It's clear that they want to rain, perhaps that's what's fascinating about them, the hope and possibility of rain or snow, the ere of winter. <br />
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10679844295230067491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-10328397249342940742012-11-15T13:11:00.002-08:002012-11-15T13:11:26.172-08:001 Week Until Reuniting!Today marks one week until I get to see my husband again. I am so excited! I'm flying down to thanksgiving Wednesday afternoon and he gets there Thursay morning. I'm sad we only get about 48 hours together but it's better than nothing. <br />
<br />
This Thanksgiving we will be at his family's home. I am excited to spend time with his family but I am so nervous! This will be my first Thanksgiving in 23 years that I won't spend with my parents. Even as a child I wondered if this day would ever actually come. At one point it was my goal to find a man who wasn't a big family man so we could always spend the holidays with my family. I have to admit I do love how passionate Steven is about his family because it shows a different side to him and allows me to relax when thinking about our future family. I know he'll be a family man when we start our own family because of how much it means to him now. <br />
<br />
I am nervous to see how my mother will handle thanksgiving without me. Some days I feel so guilty. I feel as if I should always be there, being the only child and all, but I know they love me and we'll celebrate in our own way and I'm sure everything will be fine. I definitely am going to miss the traditional tree hunt though. I'm not sure if they're going to go yet because Reno weather is kind of crazy, but part of me hopes they do. Our house is so beautiful with a live tree and the smell is wonderful, plus it always seems better to me to have a tree from the mountians than the supermarket. <br />
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I wonder where you get trees in North Carolina. It seems so surreal. Starting our new life. It's hard right now because Steven is there in our home and I am here. Realistically, I could've moved sooner, however, i couldn't afford to fly back for all of the wedding and christmas, so I choose to stay. Sometimes (more often than not) I wish I'd left already, but not always. I'm glad I have time with my parents, glad i was able to be present for everything for the Dacus wedding and able to attend the Lasita wedding. I'm so scared to leave everything here, my home, my friends, my family, my school, my history. At the same time, I could not be more excited for our new adventure!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10679844295230067491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-4761707553539110542012-06-07T11:52:00.001-07:002012-06-07T11:52:48.746-07:00If OnlyThe internet is public, anyone can read anything you write, but most of the time, no one does, which, I suppose, can be beneficial. This can be a place where I say the things I really wish to say but never can.<br />
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I found this picture today and, unfortunately, felt as if it was made for me.<br />
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I don't know why, if it's because I'm an only child who's sick of being along, if it's because I've never had a great track record for relationships, or what it is but I feel alone every single day. Some days definitely have moments where I feel treasured but those seem so sparse. I know one of the hardest things is having some of the best friends in the world but not being "best friends" I've got a best friend in Kansas who I hardely talk to... for no other reason than I just suck at communication I've got a best friend in Carson, West Reno, 2 blocks down, across the hall, all who I usually feel very distant from. ANd the worst one, the one I think that creates most of my feeling is being engaged to a man over 3,000 miles away. Hearing someone's voice... for some reason just doesn't fill that void and the three hour time difference, ugh that kills me, he wakes up and i'm asleep he's at work when i wake up then I'm at work when he gets off, I get off work and he's getting in to bed. It's terrible and no one understands. A few people come close to understanding but it's so hard to explain the feeling that comes from anywhere from 5-20 minutes of communication a day with your fiance and only sing him in person ... maybe 15 days a year.<br />
<br />
When I think about it I have about 10 people I know I can count on for anything but it makes me sad at the same time because... well I really don't talk to any of them on a daily basis.<br />
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I wish I could be that girl that's always with friends, always talking to them, always has someone to hang out with and never has to sit at home watching tv because everyone else is busy. Unfortunately, that is not the girl I am. O well.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-81714117055673719012012-05-01T13:04:00.000-07:002012-05-01T13:09:21.637-07:00People ChangeEvery day it amazes me even more how people change.<br />
<br />
I read a quote today which read "They say people come and go, but the truth is, no one really disappears from your life. People never really leave; their roles in your life simply change. "<br />
<br />
At first I was thinking about the people I knew, the people I was friends with, the people I hated, the people I wanted to know, but then I started thinking about who I am, who my friends were and how we've changed.<br />
For example:<br />
<ul>
<li>Nearly 4.5 years ago Steven Kots and I were complete strangers looking for nothing more than a college fling and in 4 months and 14 days... we'll be husband and wife. There is so much to say about him and our life together that i'd probably need a separate blog, a video camera, some pictures an a time machine. That would be the only way to explain our love, our life and our story to those who don't know us. </li>
<li>When I was 5 years old I met a girl named Cassandra Patterson. In 11 days she will be getting married. I can't believe how fast time flies. :)</li>
<li>In high school I reconnected with a girl I'd met in 6th grade named Lauren Lewis. We became great friends. We laughed together, played together, wept together. She helped me through the deaths of two important people in my life and has taught me so much. There was even a point in out friendship where we swore we'd never speak again, yet today... all I can say is that I don't know what I'd do with out her. And... going with the theme. She will marry the man of her dreams in 5 months and 26 days. She has also given birth to one of the most beautiful little girls I've ever seen. </li>
<li>Briana Bailey. Briana I met when I was 9 or 10. We have been through so much together also. I will never forget when Bri started dating Blake, a guy I'd known since I was 11 from a completely different aspect of my life and this town. Another way things change. I never knew he could be the man, husband and father he is today and I am so excited for both of them to welcome their new addition. </li>
<li>Sarah Hills... o miss Sarah Hills, a stranger, then a niece pearl, then a friend, then a roommate, then a sole mate. When I was first told she'd be my niece peal I had no idea what to get a girl I'd never really met. After I got to know her I really started to like her. Then when we lived together we found out our parent's have known each other forever. I wasn't quite positive yet, but when I found that out I was pretty sure we were sole mates. If not then it was just a HUGE freaking coincidence that Tri Delta assigned me to a random girl who other girls had asked to support and roomed us together. This girl is my other half. I have been dating Steven for the last five years but Sarah, Sarah's my sister, my roommate, my friend, my date for any kind of event. She's the friend I had always hoped for. We may not spend every waking minute together (since we got jobs and moved apart at least =P) and we may not braid each others hair (except for that one time haha) but we are best friends. I tell her everything and she's always there for me. Not to mention the crazy stories she tells me and the things I learn from her haha. There is so much to our friendship that just can't be explained and can't be duplicated. We have come so far in the years that we've known each other and grown both as people and as friends. I can't wait to see what the future brings us :)</li>
<li>Janet Blanke - almost a year ago, I was an intern and J was a dancer. We worked together and that was about it. But then a series of events led to a friendship I hope will last forever. I can honestly say when I met this spunky, smiling little dancer last year, I wouldn't have guessed she'd be one of my bridesmaids and my closest friends. </li>
<li>Ember Oseto- When I started working at the Nugget I was warned about the mean night supervisor and how she was cranky, or whatever they all said. Luckily, I like to get to know people and make my own decisions because I would've missed out on a great friend. Even though I will give her man crap until the day I die I love their little family and mr. Chandler. I only wish I could see them more. But once life settles down a little I hope to do just that. </li>
<li>Bree Harris, crazy, insane, silly, outgoing Bree. A classmate, an acquaintance, a friend. This is one of those friendships that you treasure because you know no matter where life takes you and no matter how far apart you become, no matter how long it's been since you've spoken... the conversation and the friendship pick up right where they left off the last time. </li>
<li>Kurt Itskin, 4.5 years ago he was an ATO pledge in my math class and now I don't know what I'd do without him either. I know some days we drive each other crazy but I think that's why his mom says we're like brother and sister. We are kind of that quote "friends are family we choose" we choose to be friends so we don't drive each other completely bonkers, but we do a pretty good job =P </li>
<li>When I started hanging out at Phi Delt I met a girl name Melyssa Roe. She seemed so nice and I really wanted to get to know her. I spent less time at Phi Delt and, therefore, less time with her. A few months later, who rushed Tri Delt? Melyssa. I was so excited but hadn't been talkative enough for her to remember me and she thought i was weird lol. I will never get the day she told me that. Anyway, she's taught me so much and I'm excited to say she too will wed someone I knew as a kid. Sam. When we were young I could never have predicted he'd join the military and turn into a sweet (yet still sassy) guy. I guess the right girl can affect every guy. I am so excited for them and can't wait for their wedding next year</li>
<li>I know some people may think I left them out or wonder why they were not included, but I can't write everything I think and I can't not write in fear of upsetting someone. One thing I've learned over the past year as well, is that just because you don't see each other everyday, doesn't mean you don't have a friend. I have some of the best friends in the world. </li>
</ul>
There have been friendships that I have lost over the past few years but when I look back on those I realize that, while they might've been difficult at the time, they were steps I needed to take to become the woman I am today. In the past I looked back on those memories and wished to do it over again, but then I realized that we've changed and that part of our lives is in the past, a chapter in our books that has ended and now I am happy to smile and remember that they happened. I treasure it's friendship I've had and even the enemies I've had, each relationship has taught me so much about life and love.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-82364223448320019552012-04-10T09:54:00.000-07:002012-04-10T09:54:07.825-07:00Nervous Already? O Boy!For the last 16 months I have been "planning" our wedding.<br />
<ul><li>"O I think we could do this here" </li>
<li>"I think we should put that there" </li>
<li>"Wouldn't it be fun to do this?" </li>
<li>"I don't really know, it's so far away" definitely my most popular sentence</li>
</ul>I have so much planned and everyone is shocked that I planning is essentially finished, I was proud of myself and feeling confident... until today.<br />
<br />
Today I discussed times, times when my girls need to be ready, times when I need to be ready, time when the photos will be taken, the time when I will walk down the isle. I have no idea why but this made me so nervous! I feel like I shouldn't possibly be nervous already but I am! It blows my mind that the idea of the wedding day is already making me nervous, and here I thought I was going to be perfectly fine. Wrong! I am nervous the right photos won't get taken, I am afraid it might rain or be windy or sunburn all our guests, I'm afraid I'll be late, afraid we'll miss the sunset for our sunset beach photos. O my goodness the curse of a running mind!<br />
<br />
I am so excited to wear my gorgeous dress and accessories and final say "I do" to the man of my dreams in front of our family and our friends, but the details scare the crap out of me! One thing that does make me laugh is picturing the look on my mother's face, Sarah's face and even Stephanie (one of our amazing photographers) as they tell me to take a deep breath and stop freaking out. I can only imagine the things that might be said to me if a start thinking about too many things.<br />
<br />
My mind will be on:<br />
<ul><li>the time</li>
<li>the flowers</li>
<li>the guests</li>
<li>the music</li>
<li>the groom</li>
<li>the daring and dangerous groomsmen</li>
<li>the weather, </li>
<li>the dress,</li>
<li>the make-up</li>
<li>the hair</li>
<li>EVERYTHING!!!</li>
</ul>and I won't be able to stop it. I am a creature of habit and those closest to me such as my lovely bridesmaids and mother will most likely be saying some pretty interesting things and doing some even crazier stuff to get me to stop thinking about everything and I love them for that.<br />
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I am worried things won't go perfectly but that's life and I guess all I need to try and remember is that most likely, at some point in our future (who knows when) everything that happens we will laugh about. "It makes for a good story" as my mom always says :).Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-76073607125295085282012-04-09T11:30:00.000-07:002012-04-09T11:30:43.154-07:00God Gave Me YouHave you ever been afraid to believe in something?<br />
<br />
Most people who know me know that I used to be a goody-two-shoes go to church twice on Sundays and once for practice kind of girl. I loved it. I loved singing, I loved serving, I loved being there, but slowly things started to change.<br />
<br />
A few years ago I changed. I ran away from most things I knew and tried to be someone different. Everyday that I pass my old church I yearn to go inside. I want to go back to singing in the choir and being an alter-server and having great friends and even the dreaded Sunday school, but every time I see the church I am also reminded of why I left. I am reminded of the things I didn't believe in, the conflicts, the disappointment and I think "how can I go back now?" I have thought about going to other churches, however, I've been to many and I just I can't get my old church out of my mind.<br />
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When I was 8 years old my mother and I joined the congregation. Shortly after I went through classes to be an alter server. I loved it there. It was small and dark and crowded but everyone knew everyone, no one was afraid to say hi or sit too close, and the priest was like a grandfather. I know they are supposed to be like fathers but I like my dad and I didn't have a grandfather, and Father O'brien was very old and very wise so he reminded me more of a grand father. It was a happy place for me.<br />
<br />
Then it changed.<br />
<br />
The church moved and became... modern. Now going into the church is like going into a gymnasium, half of the people don't even seem to know why they are there, no one speaks to anyone any more. It's as if we are all strangers, well we are all strangers, but praising God in one house makes me feel as if strangers is not what we should be. The thing that really got me was when our new priest fired most of the volunteers and hired people who didn't even share our faith. Watching our choir director it crackers and drink a pepsi during mass broke my heart. I couldn't understand why we would hire someone who not only did not share our faith but also did not respect it.<br />
<br />
One of the reasons I joined the choir in the first place is because when I was young someone told me singing prayers got them to god faster because the notes and melody carried the words like a cloud up to him. Watching this woman sing our prayers broke my heart. Slowly others began to change too. A few of the band members stated they no longer believed, however, continued to participate for various reason; ie families, playing time, etc. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore and left the choir and eventually the church.<br />
<br />
Every day I think about going back but I am not sure I can. I am so scared to go back but I am scared I am not whole without it. Steven and I decided to dance our first dance to God Gave Me You and ... I feel so guilty believing God gave him to me and everything else I have in my life, yet I can't suck it up and go to church to worship him. People have told me that I don't have to return as long as I worship him on my own, but something in my heart tells me that's just not working, it's not good enough. I wish he could tell me what to do.<br />
<br />
Yesterday my mother and I drove around to see if any stores were open to look for something, and while I was surprised and a little irritated that majority of stores were closed, it made me kind of happy. It so hard now to decide what is right and what is normal. There are so many different beliefs and none of them can be proven wrong or right.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-15464583609057694892012-04-05T09:32:00.001-07:002012-04-05T09:44:47.465-07:00Opening DayToday is opening day at the Reno Aces.<br />
<br />
Depending on who you talk to this can mean a multitude of things. Some will say "So?". Some might say "This marks the beginning of summer". Some might be diehard fans and this is when life is great. But for someone like me, someone who used to work at the Aces stadium, this is bittersweet. Some days I wonder if I took my time there for granted. Thinking about opening day I think about all the prep work and hours that went in to making sure everything went smoothly. I think of the friends I made and even the frenemies I acquired. I think of the smell of the park, the sounds, the food we shared with each other when someone wasn't prepared and the nights spent at Freight House recuperating from the children trying to rip Archie's arm off and the drunk adults who hassled us for not dancing perfectly or not putting them in a game. Last summer was one of the best of my entire life and, while I may not be working at the park again, I intend to make this summer just as great.<br />
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The thought of this summer scares me a little, I have to admit. I love where I'm at right now, I love my job, I love my friends, I love my family, I love my town, the only thing that is missing is my man. However, the problem I'm facing is to have my man things are going to have to change. When they will change I am not quite sure but they will. I am so excited for this new chapter in my life and I can't wait to start it, however, I am scared of leaving turning the page and leaving this chapter behind me. I know that my friends and family will continue to be in the chapters of my life and every once in a while I'll come back to Reno for my friends, fam, The Reno Aces, The Reno Rodeo, maybe even the Shakespeare Festival and by god you better believe it I will be back one day for Night in the Country, but as for now the uncertainty in the timeline of my future has lead me to promise myself, "This will be the summer of a life time, one I'll never forget." Starting off with Reno Aces tonight and ending with our wedding in September, this summer season (technically) is going to rock.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-87541629369804324892012-03-30T10:29:00.000-07:002012-03-30T10:29:19.139-07:001.3 lbs !Whoot!! Monday night I decided I wanted to buckle down and get my butt in gear and in shape. I went ot the gym twice Tuesday, once Wednesday, once Thursday and then this morning, I also gave up carbs starting Monday afternoon till probably this afternoon =P but already in just 4 days I'm down 1.3 lbs!<br />
<br />
I was thinking goofing a round early and I came across this <a href="http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Strapless-Taffeta-Beaded-Sheath-Dress-722D_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Silhouette-Short">dress </a>that I think is my new goal and motivation. My bachelorette party is July 2012 and I think this <a href="http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Strapless-Taffeta-Beaded-Sheath-Dress-722D_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Silhouette-Short">dress </a>is it!! I've never worn anything like it and I definitely wouldn't wear it now, but I am going to do all I can to fit in it by then! or something similar! I know I probably should order it now but I'm not about to order something in advance that might not fit or might fit and be hideous but my goal is to fit in a gorgeous, sexy, look at me white/ivory "Vegas" dress by Saturday 21st. If I have to do two a days every day!<br />
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Here's to the future!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-57224875764523239542012-03-28T12:41:00.000-07:002012-03-28T12:41:21.353-07:00Starting OverUnfortunately, I have not been making the progress I wanted. I knew that this would happen... which is why, I'm sure, it did.<br />
<br />
This time though, this time I am working harder than ever and actually believe I will find results. Much to my dismay I have taken two huge steps that I wish this process could do with out.<br />
<ol><li>I have hired a personal trainer. I have always wanted to but the cost has always stopped me and I wish I was strong enough to do this without one but boy am I glad I have one. His name is Jeff, he kicks my ass and shows no mercy. Recovering from my bronchitis/laryngitis/viral infection thing he worked me out hard enough for it to count, but easy enough to keep me conscious, which I appreciated, however, last night I made a point of pointing out my voice had come back... mistake! The no mercy Jeff is back. </li>
<li>I have committed to a Mon-Fri carbohydrate free diet. I feel like an addict. After months of eating nothing "bad" for me except for potatoes (i.e. potato chips, baked potatoes and french fries) cutting them out is so hard! I do have to admit though. I had commented before on the fact that I was afraid I'd never be able to go with out them. Well day 2 potato free is a success!! I know it sounds lame. But there's something about giving up the only "processed" things you can eat hahaha. </li>
</ol><b>Monday </b>I was not able to attend the gym due to my almost all-nighter my addiction to Hunger Games caused and my physical thereapy appointment in the afternoon.<br />
<br />
<b>Tuesday </b>though, Tuesday was rough. I drug my determined self to the gym at 5:30 am and did the eliptical for 30 minutes and the bike for 15. Then I decided I should probably get ready for work. I ended up being an hour early and decided next time I'll swim as well. After work I headed to personal training, however I always do 15-30 minutes on the elliptical before that too. Then Sarah and I moved the rest of the stuff out of our apartment (a whole topic unto itself). Needless to say I am exhausted!<br />
<br />
Normally, I would've worked myself too hard to move the next day... and while my muscles may agree, they accompanied to the gym this morning anyway :)<br />
<br />
A definite scare for me though was sitting in my orthopedic surgeon's office this morning as he told me I might have a broken foot and need to have x-rays. All I could thing about was "really? again? every time I get going and get into a groove and am thinking it will finally happen... something happens. Broken leg, broken wrist, broken foot, health problems, sickness you name it.." I said ok and headed to the x-ray room. Well, turns out I've had two broken toes (the two i suspected to be broken anyway) for the last six weeks and since I didn't take painkillers due to my suspicion of broken bones, they are nearly healed. I did however, allow the swelling to go on long enough to stretch out a ligament. Now I don't know much about them but my ortho. kept talking about me stretching out my ligament and almost dislocating and if that happened I'd need surgery. I got a cortozone shot and am hoping for the best. My least favorite part of the meeting was when he brought up tests I had done 5 years ago. "Five years ago you tested negative for Rheumatoid arthritis, I would like to get you tested again though." O joy! I've lucked out most of my life with minor sprains, minor headaches, Celiac instead of ovarian cancer... ya know, I've gotten the lesser of two evils every time so, my hope is that I get the lesser of two evils this time as well. I would rather have joint pain as a result of being chubby and out of shape or a former athlete gone computer nerd, than have RA.<br />
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So much has happened I definitely think I should start writing more often again, and perhaps I will. For sake of space (and the fact that my lunch is over) I'll end here.<br />
<br />
Happy Hump Day!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-52536480924306238582012-03-07T13:05:00.000-08:002012-03-07T13:05:22.959-08:00Random Thoughts 2Well haven't I been a slacker recently.<br />
<br />
Life has been so insane I guess I forgot to blog. <br />
My life hasn't changed that much, I have been trying to workout more and lose weight, however, that hasn't been going well, obviously. I am trying something new now though, so I hope this will have a better turn out.<br />
<br />
I keep being told i need to do cardio to see results but I haven't been approved for any activity yet that I know how to do that provides cardio. I am allowed to swim but I'm not supposed to kick, which kind of defeats the purpose. I just found out yesterday though, that I am allowed to do the bike. I am pretty stoked about that. Still no running, dancing, elipticals, etc. But I will take what I can get :)<br />
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Life has been so interesting this year. Two of my best friends have gotten engaged and are planning to get married this year as well! It's so exciting.<br />
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I think one of the hardest things to deal with is seeing people who are excited about the wedding. Don't get me wrong, I'm stoked, but it's so hard to be excited about something that may not happen. I know Steven and I will get married this year, that part I am sure about, however, the big white wedding, that's still up for debate. I hate the military so much. I wish they would just tell you. "We'll see how training is going" is so not an acceptable answer when you're planning a wedding. There is so much thought, time and money that goes into a wedding, and contracts are signed that some time don't allow wiggle room for dates. When are they going to tell us? The day before? The week before? The month before? This whole thing has me sound wound up I've actually been trying to avoid people so I don't have to talk about the wedding but, when I fail to avoid them it's always the same; "O no, that's horrible." "Well you don't look very excited", "What are you guys going to do?", "Are you going to cancel/postpone/have the wedding via skype? So many questions all the time and the look on their face is always the same when I have to say "I don't have an answer."<br />
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I don't though. Plain and simple. I don't know.<br />
<br />
blah<br />
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I have to tell you though, if we do have the wedding... It's gonna be awesome :) the planning is almost complete. If I could just be sure he'd be there I would be so unbelievably stoked :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-89954256287528866262012-02-09T12:20:00.000-08:002012-02-09T12:20:24.622-08:00Random ThoughtsO weight loss how you torture me so. It seems as if every time I try to lose weight i start off really good and then something goes horribly wrong. Well, this time I am not going to give up. The past few days I've been allowing myself to cheat on my diet or whatever you call it, because I've been in so much pain, but I'm over it. I am signing up with Fitness Connection ASAP so that I can swim in the mornings or at lunch or after work or something and I will learn how to do more upper body stuff while I am in physical therapy.<br />
<br />
o ya! Physical therapy! For all of you who may be curious, I had my appointment with my orthopedic surgeon yesterday. It was a lot of news, some good, some bad, some.. well neither really.<br />
<ul><li>Good News- not broken</li>
<li>Good News- didn't harm my reconstructive surgery I'd had as a teen</li>
<li>Good News- we know what is hurting - my subtailor joint (I can never remember the name and always say subterraneal lol so not a word or a joint.) </li>
<li>Bad News- We don't know what is wrong with it or why</li>
<li>Good and Bad News- My ankle is unusually weak, it is possible that my subtailor joint has been taking a beating since my ankle is so weak. </li>
<li>Solution- Shot of cortisone and steroids with a freaking 3+ inch needle yesterday (more to come) 6 weeks of physical therapy to attempt to strengthen the ankle and then if that doesn't work and MRI. (keeping my fingers crossed about the physical therapy!)</li>
</ul>So there you have it, my leg update. So now I am going to start going back to the gym (since i can't go back to Zumba :( ) and I am going to work as hard as I can.<br />
<br />
I wonder if I am addicted to potato chips. I have not had a single potato chip today and feel like I am going through withdrawals or something. I mean I am not shaking or anything but I keep thinking about them and keep wanting to go to the store to buy them. I feel like I am trying to get sober. I keep telling myself that maybe I am an addict and I need to give them up... but then I think about the alternatives. I eat fruit, vegetables and meat, that's it, all day, except for potatoes and the occasionally trip to frozen yogurt. Everyone needs junk food, a comfort food, if I give up my potato chips (all natural so no corn anything) every alternative has about twice the amount of calories. French fries, gluten free cookies or candy. The crap they use to substitute for flour is so much worse for you than potatoes and salt in olive oil. O I wish I knew what to do. I don't like only having one junk food. Yesterday when I met with someone at Fitness Connection he congratulated me on my Celiac and corn allergy "You've already got your diet under control, that's half the battle" I asked him about my potato chip issue and he said everyone needs something... maybe he's right. Ugh, who knows, I hope he's right cause I don't think I can give them up lol.<br />
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I'm not on the track I wanted to be on with my weight loss but I am still doing pretty good. Hopefully now that I've gotten my eating under control and I am going to start Fitness Connection I can get back on track. I am 20 lbs from my goal now :) whoot! <br />
<ul><li><br />
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</ul>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2892773661621971553.post-49181750864716344762012-02-01T12:47:00.000-08:002012-02-09T12:22:08.567-08:00Long Lost BloggerHello from the long lost blogger. When I started this blog I wanted to write one everyday. I knew life wasn't necessarily that interesting but figured I could find something to write about.<br />
<br />
Then, for lack of better words, all hell broke lose. So many things happened all at once I didn't know what to do. So many bad things happened I wanted to sink into a depression, lock myself in my house, cry, etc., but then there was the birth of beautiful Addison Dacus, the first snowfall, fun times with friends and a few dinners with family. It was so hard because things made me want to be happy but I had the bad things in my mind saying "How could you be happy right now?" I thought I was losing it and felt like I just couldn't handle it anymore.<br />
<br />
Somebody asked me once how I handle being in a long distance relationship. I asked her if she wanted the supportive sister answer of the honest friend answer. Before she could reply I thought about what my answers would be<br />
<ul><li>Supportive Sister Answer: "I remind myself of all of the good times and why we're together. We also talk everyday even if just for a minute and we skype as often as possible."</li>
<li> Honest Friend Answer: " I don't handle it. It hurts everyday. It gets easier with time but I still often cry myself to sleep and pray we could be together."</li>
</ul>"Both answers were honest, just different kinds of honest" I thought to myself.<br />
<br />
Then I thought about it more. "What does handling it mean? I mean, reminding myself of the good times, loving each other, talking, skyping, that's handling it right? Were still together and still apart, so I suppose that's considered handling it... Right?"<br />
<br />
These thoughts spiked my curiosity and i looked it up. Now there were the definitions "to grip" "something added to an object for it to be held" etc. but for the sake of time I'll cut to the definitions I found relevant. <br />
<br />
<b>Handle (verb) </b><br />
<ul><li>to manage, deal with, or be responsible for: My wife handles the household accounts. This computer handles all our billing. </li>
<li>to use or employ, especially in a particular manner; manipulate: to handle color expertly in painting. </li>
<li>to manage, direct, train, or <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/control">control</a>: to handle troops. </li>
<li>to deal with (a subject, theme, argument, etc.): The poem handled the problem of instinct versus intellect. </li>
</ul>So, while life may be tough and while we still may not have the answer to things we are looking for, we need never discourage ourselves by believing we are faced with an obstacle we can't handle, because as long as we keep going, we are handling it. <br />
<br />
(Now a lack of patience, something completely different =P I want answers to my questions now. Not next week, not next month, now. )Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0