Then, for lack of better words, all hell broke lose. So many things happened all at once I didn't know what to do. So many bad things happened I wanted to sink into a depression, lock myself in my house, cry, etc., but then there was the birth of beautiful Addison Dacus, the first snowfall, fun times with friends and a few dinners with family. It was so hard because things made me want to be happy but I had the bad things in my mind saying "How could you be happy right now?" I thought I was losing it and felt like I just couldn't handle it anymore.
Somebody asked me once how I handle being in a long distance relationship. I asked her if she wanted the supportive sister answer of the honest friend answer. Before she could reply I thought about what my answers would be
- Supportive Sister Answer: "I remind myself of all of the good times and why we're together. We also talk everyday even if just for a minute and we skype as often as possible."
- Honest Friend Answer: " I don't handle it. It hurts everyday. It gets easier with time but I still often cry myself to sleep and pray we could be together."
Then I thought about it more. "What does handling it mean? I mean, reminding myself of the good times, loving each other, talking, skyping, that's handling it right? Were still together and still apart, so I suppose that's considered handling it... Right?"
These thoughts spiked my curiosity and i looked it up. Now there were the definitions "to grip" "something added to an object for it to be held" etc. but for the sake of time I'll cut to the definitions I found relevant.
- to manage, deal with, or be responsible for: My wife handles the household accounts. This computer handles all our billing.
- to use or employ, especially in a particular manner; manipulate: to handle color expertly in painting.
- to manage, direct, train, or control: to handle troops.
- to deal with (a subject, theme, argument, etc.): The poem handled the problem of instinct versus intellect.
(Now a lack of patience, something completely different =P I want answers to my questions now. Not next week, not next month, now. )